come up for a coffee?

Tuesdays class was a class in confusion, a clash of cultures, and a great reminder.. things do not need to be complicated!
The lesson plan for the day was Phrasal Verbs (get away, get up, get lost, back up, step up etc) which got to be very confusing. Talkback is a phrasal verb, but backtalk isn't, which was hard to explain (also hard to explain the definition of talkback and backtalk, I asked if they knew what 'being lippy' meant, I felt like i was teaching too much slang). Then we came up with 'payback' which was somwhat difficult also. The phrasal definition is to pay sth or sb back (thats something, or somebody)but it also has the more popular "i'm gonna do something bad to you, because you did something bad to me". A few others we stumbled on was: setback, stick out, backup (the difference between figuratively and literally backing up). And then there was (duh duh duhnnn....) the relationship phrasal verbs: breakup, makeup, hangout, go out. This topic made me remember how simple things really are in the begining, not how complicated we begin to beleive they are.

Mohammed asked "when you use this term 'break up', it means never again right?", his question was prompted by an activity in the book that involved filling in the blanks, and then using those words in a puzzle to 'decode' the sentence at the bottom which was "Some couples like to break up because they think it's fun to make up and get back together!". What got me is how (pardon the pun) foreign this seemed to the class, that people would breakup, just to make up... but aren't we all human here, regardless of our language? isn't the language of love (and hate) universal? don't we all f*ck up and make up and do it again and again and again untill one of us taps out? Isn't this normal in all languages?? Mohammed said when he is going to use the words "break up", he has thought seriously about it, and he takes it very seriously, as does the girl he is going to say it to. And he would take it very seriously too. "break up is like divorce no?". Hmm.. all depends on who you are.

"Hang out" was also difficult to explain when Jane said 'so hanging out means to hold hands?" . I ended up just saying "its a general term to mean spending time together". "Go out" was easier for them to deduce it was a date, but Mohammed asked "if I ask a girl if she'd like to go out, get something to eat, see a movie, this is automatically a date?". I said no, not automatically, but it may depend on how you ask it, and how she takes it. I wanted to say yes, it is, but then stopped. No, not automatically a date, why can't we merely ask someone of the opposite sex to do something and be only interested in sharing that experience with them, not assume its a prelude to sharing more experiences with them? Bah! relationship talk was already getting me flustered, and this was just trying to define normal idioms we use everyday. But the more I thought about it, the more I don't wonder.. of course this chapter on relationships is confusing! Everyone has their own interpertations of phrasel verbs! This is why relationships are confusing! Someone who thinks hanging out means dating, and vice versa are going to run into trouble. One was taught something different, so how can we ever really know, without "jumping the gun" and clarifying it first? are we supposed to come across as cocky, "hey, i know you asked me to a movie, but just so you know, we're hangin out, not dating" and risk embarassment? but if we don't do that, aren't we risking certain awkwardness later? Again..i digress.

I would have much preferred my students to teach me what :break up" means, what 'hanging out", "going out" means. Maybe then I'd be better at?! lol

next week we go over "softening comments" and group work with the title "what should you consider when you choose a life partner?" I can;t WAIT to hear their answers!